I would be remiss if I didn't apologize (again) for my recent lack in blog posts. I can't offer up the usual excuses... b/c honestly, they just don't matter. Yes, I am a busy busy girl --- but I have always been that way and somehow in the past, I still found time to blog.
The truth is I just have so many things going on inside of me right now, I wouldn't even know where to begin to get them all out.
so I'll start here, and go from there:
A few months ago now, we found out that there is going to be a new addition to our family of three. Take a minute to soak that in. ...our family of three. George, Me, Sarah Jane, the end.
While soaking that in, please don't misinterpret what I am saying and think that I am not excited, because I am-- beyond measure. I just can't wrap my head around the concept of this NEW person, this new PERMANENT person joining our lives.
I feel like such a jerk for even saying that.
But it's true. I keep hearing people say that I will love this baby exactly like I love Sarah Jane. How is that possible, when I love her with everything that I have? There is no more of me to give... for the last 6 years, she has been it for me. She's the love of my life. (and I love George too, but in a different way) --- I do love this baby, I do want this baby, I am genuinely excited about this baby.
...and I am scared to death that this baby will feel second to it's sister because I can't wrap my head around loving anyone or anything the way that I love my Janey girl.
Someone please tell me how to get over this. Please don't say "you just do" or "you'll just know" -- b/c I have heard those, and it didn't help.
As silly as it sounds, it's a real fear for me right now. One that I am having a really hard time with.
When you have a baby... you are supposed to be stressed out about getting nursery stuff together and finding the right furniture and what this safety rating says about this carseat and that stroller --- not whether or not you can love your children equally as much.
call me crazy if you want, but I'm having issues.
OH.. and in case you were wondering... We now have a bed, a changing table, a quilt rack for all those little blankies, a dresser/hutch, a swing, a walk around jungle, and a few fabric samples that I like. As soon as we find out what this baby is, It's Nursery Decor time! YAY for a MIL with a flair for decorating and a Momma that knows how to sew like no other. I'm a lucky girl!