All Right Here

I don’t know exactly when or how things in my life worked out the way that they did. But nevertheless, they are what they are. Somehow, Somewhere along the way I have lost touch with some of the things that I used to hold sacred, my relationship with God being one of them. I never blamed God for the things that happened, or was even angry with him… I just sort of separated myself from him, partially intentionally and partially involuntarily. But lately, I can feel him starting to move again… In little things, In Big things, In familiar things. It’s hard to keep my guard down, but I’m trying to. Like everything, it’s a one day at a time process.

5 years ago I went to a $5 concert at Sherwood Church in Albany. It was just something to do on a Friday night, I had never even heard of Sara Groves. I went in, sat down, and honestly… was a little ready to be bored for the next 2 hours. But from the first note on her keyboard, the first sound of her voice, I was captured. Every word was sang with emotion, straight from her heart. I have, over time, bought every one of her albums. They are all wonderful and they all speak directly to me. I have heard this song a million times before, but this week when I put it in, I cried and cried. It talks more to me than anything else I believe that I have ever heard. ... and that is huge for me, b/c you know how I am with music. But it's as if she took what I was feeling, wrote it down, and made it magical. I haven’t been able to find this one on any kind of music player, but if you want to hear the music behind the lyrics, you won’t be missing out on anything by buying the CD. This song is the #1 track on “All Right Here.” If you Go to http://www.saragroves.com/, you may be able to hear a snippet.

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's...
Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown ,more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember
And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands... a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt look less like scars
and more like character
Less like a prison, more like my room
Less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending
And I feel you here And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands... a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt look less like scars
and more like Character
Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
Iwas desperate, broken, laid out
Hoping you would come
And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you...

And I know you're here And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands... a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt look less like scars
And more like character.


Tony & Susan said...

wow! music can speak so many things to our hearts! thanks for sharing! i pray that this song continues to come through for you! we love you!

Tammy said...

Thank you for being an inspiration, Jay. I share some of the same feelings with you about my relationship with God. It is so easy to take your focus off of Him and not even realize it. Music is a wonderful thing! Another song that reminds me of that is Nicole Nordeman: River God. http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/nichole-nordeman/river-god.html
Thank you for being so open, honest and vulnerable. I love you!

Dana said...

That reminds me of a song by Kristy Starling. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=45268027
I think you can listen to it by that link. It's called "Broken". Actually, there's another one that I think would speak to you too "Something More" you can find both on her myspace playlist.

Anyway, thank you for sharing. I think those that have been broken in some way or another are those that God uses most.

I can look back at things that we've experienced during our time in ministry and know that God was breaking me to prepare me for "something more". There were times that I couldn't see how something could work out for the good but could always thank him when we came out on the other side. I'm still working on learning how to thank him when we're in the midst of it. It's a constant struggle to truly submit and let Him make me who He wants me to be.

"Obama fan"?

I'm still not sure. I think that our borders need to be way more secure than he does and when I look at his plan to reform the economy, a lot of it looks like he's trying to touch every group but a lot of it doesn't seem to be enough to actually make a difference. Like maybe he's trying to appeal to every group for the vote... For instance: He has a plan for senior citizens to give them a one time stimulus of $250 and to cut income tax for senior citizens who make less that $50,000 a year. I'm sure that that sounds good and could get him some votes but in reality, Cutting the income tax would maybe save them $1500 a year and a $250 stimulus wouldn't help anything. I just wonder if some of that isn't blowing smoke.. He has a good plan to reform health care. To go after the insurance companies. Which in theory sounds good but I'm afraid that that's only going to hurt the people that are on the bottom of the totem pole in insurance. I can't see the CEOs saying, "oh, they are cutting our prices, I'm going to cut my salary in half". I don't think Obama's the anti christ as some have said. I'm just not completely happy with all of his plans. Which I don't think is possible and I don't think there is an easy answer... Which it is a lot to expect one man to be able to fix everything but I'd like to get as close as we can.

So yeah. Harrison Ford's my man :).

Dana said...

waiting for an update and a visit ;)

JAY said...

Ah, I KNOW. I just stay so busy. I have 3 blogs waiting to be published... I just need to upload some picss to go with them. I WILL. --- oh, and I am working on the visit. I have 3 weekends booked in July, so I am trying to go ahead and set an August date. I HAVEN'T forgotten. I love you!!